Church Planting for the Rest of Us

I recently had the privilege to preach a couple of messages in our church on sharing the Gospel. I hope to share some of that content in the weeks to come.

I also have the privilege of pastoring a flock that has a number of members who are already working the fields to the best of their ability. One of these members, Collin Mattoon, recently served as a chaplain at a local hospital and developed and deployed the following list of questions that he used to “break the ice” with the patients to which he sought to minister each day as well as others in his spheres of influence.

I believe they will serve you well as you seek to share the Gospel with those in your spheres of influence as well.

From Collin :

Often I would ask the question “Can I ask you a question about your
faith?” before I would ask any of these because it removes anxiety for
the person asking the question and respects the person to whom you are speaking.

1- What are your religious beliefs?

2- What do you believe about God/Jesus/Christianity?

3- Do you go to church? / whats your church like?/ have you had good
experiences with churches before?

4- Is there anything you want me to pray for you about? / Can I pray for you?

5- Can I tell you what I believe?/ Can I tell you what my faith teaches?

6- What do you believe about the Bible? / What do you think the Bible
teaches about that? / Can I tell you what the Bible says about that?

7- How do you see God at work in all of this (the situation)? / How
does your faith effect this situation? / How has God been working in
your life lately?

8- Do you have a relationship with God? Is that relationship important
to you? What does your relationship with God look like?

9- How do you think God feels about that?

10- For coworkers: “Hey I think I have sinned against you and I want to confess that and ask for your forgiveness, can we talk about that?

Feel free to respond below.

Friends,

Indeed, it has been too long since the last blog. But, at least I’m back with a great resource for us.

The KidCity ministry team at our church has put together a WONDERFUL catechism/doctrinal equipping resource that we want to share with you.

Feel free to share this with as many people inside and outside your church as possible.

I can’t wait to start using it myself.

Click HERE to get it.

In the last post I discussed how it is easy for  pastors and coaches  to become very task focused and forget that ministry is not about accomplishing tasks, but rather about ministering to people. If you missed it, click HERE.

In an attempt to be intentional in how I interact with leaders in the church, I try to establish broader goals than just communicating a single goal, correction, or vision in a given meeting. Instead, my goals for a given meeting have become  to a) Shepherd b) Learn c) Model, and d) Equip. In this instance, they are framed within the context of small group leadership, but really they can apply to any leader in the church. Practically speaking, those goals work themselves out in the following ways when I meet with leaders:

I Shepherd Him. 

Honestly, I am more concerned with producing good group leaders than I am good groups. I ask the leader about how he is doing with his calling to follow Jesus and lead his family before I even get to his calling to lead a group. If there is some large issue in play, we may end up not getting to the equipping objective. I wouldn’t consider this a failed meeting. An unhealthy group leader will rarely have a healthy group regardless of how amazing your new initiative is. Healthy leaders lead healthy groups.

I Encourage Him.

Small group leaders are important. In fact, it is possible that small group leaders have more to do with the spiritual formation of most of the people in their groups than you ever will. Napoleon once said, “Soldiers win the battle, but generals get the credit.” Group leaders are the ones in the trenches with your people, taking direct fire. Don’t stop letting them know how much you appreciate them. Lift them up and encourage them every chance you get.

I Listen to Him.

As in – really listen. Like I said before, these are the guys who really have “boots on the ground.” I have two things I want to ask about at this point: a) what is going on in group? and b) how can we help you more and do a better job with groups? I ask the questions and then really listen.

I Equip Him. 

I once heard Dr. Robert Coleman say, “a leader knows where he’s going and knows how to get there.” This is how I think about equipping for leadership in a nutshell. First, does the leader know where he is going? At my last church we used to always talk about “clarifying the win.” It is so important that leaders know where they are going. You will be surprised how many don’t and are frustrated by it. Furthermore, they have to know how to get there. This is where you give the leaders the tools they are lacking.

I Pray for Him.

Leaders need your prayers. None of us can do ministry without the power of the Holy Spirit. Pray for them to be able to minister the gospel. Also, making prayer a normal part of your ministry and discipleship provides a model for them to do the same in their groups.

I Encourage Him Again.

My goal is for any leader I meet with to come away refreshed and energized for ministry even if we have to talk about hard things. Constantly try to think of how you can encourage them and show them honor in word and in action.

I hope these posts have been helpful and I welcome your feedback in the comments below.

- Steve

Early in one of my ministry posts I had lunch with a small group leader.

I had visited his group the week before and I felt that he was doing an outstanding job.

I met with him because his approach to small groups was similar to where I wanted to lead the church and I thought I had an immediate ally.

After a lunch where I shared my heart for where I wanted to take the church with groups (which was very close to what he was doing) he said to me, “you know, before you tell me what I am doing wrong in group, maybe you should tell me what I am doing right.”

Ouch! I felt like I had been punched in the mouth by Mike Tyson in his prime.

How did I just have a meeting that I thought was encouraging and left him walking away feeling criticized and discouraged? Were we in the same room?

What’s more is I always considered myself a fairly relational person and I did think he was doing a great job, and I was incredibly thankful for his faithful ministry. Yet, somehow, I communicated the exact opposite. To try to repair the damage, I apologized and asked him to grab a cup of coffee with me and listened to him for the next couple of hours. It was some of the most valuable information I have ever gotten on leading small groups. In this meeting, it became apparent, some of his reaction was baggage from previous leaders, however, I was falling into the same trap.

Ministry is about people not projects

As pastors and coaches it is easy to become very task focused and forget that ministry is not about accomplishing tasks, but rather about ministering to people. Often the busy realities of ministry produce a scenario where we, as pastors or coaches, are only checking in with the small group leaders when we “want something” (e.g. pushing a new initiative, evaluating the group, or correcting some behavior). Subsequently our meetings with group leaders can easily become all about equipping, or maybe a few questions about the wife and kids, and then all equipping. Obviously, this is not a recipe for success.

Caring is communicating

This is dangerous for at least two reasons.

First, I find that group leaders can only survive so long when you are making relational “withdrawals” and offering very few “deposits” in return. You can try to soften the unintended blows, but if the bent of your meeting is completely task focused, it will eventually bleed through. Studies in rhetoric have shown that the perceived care and character of a speaker is the single most important factor in persuasion, far above the wording and logic of an argument. Simply put, if you want your leaders on board they have to feel like you care about them.

Lead by example

Second, this is not what you want to model to your group leaders. Most people who are committed to a small group model would shudder at the thought of their group leaders focusing on instruction only, so why would we model that kind of discipleship dynamic to them? Your leaders will reflect the leadership you show them.

Though I certainly don’t have it all figured out, now, when I meet with small group leaders, I have 4 goals in mind.

In order of priority I want to:

1. Shepherd
2. Learn
3. Model
4. Equip

This is not because equipping is the least important. It is because I believe these things build on each other. I find that when I follow this pattern I know better how to equip the leader, and the leader is more likely to receive my equipping because I have increased my credibility with him.

In the next post I will talk more about what specific steps I take when I meet with a group leader and why I think they are important.

In the meantime, feel free to respond in the comments below.